Monday, September 10, 2007



Recently I've been having headaches and just now I am starting to realise why. Simply that I have, not just one but several, way-too-full-time-jobs. It just fucks with my head that the 28th is my first day off in whole of September. Not to mention the meager 3 days without at least 5-6 hours work that I was allowed to cherish in August. Summing up: IHLIA, YouAct, OIYP, PIC, etc. I'm losing track myself actually. It was easier to deal with it not knowing and just taking it on day by day, there is a reason I don't have an agenda of 2007 and just use a stack of notes for upcoming days, it makes it all seem less because the overview is lost.

A solution of just not working so much is difficult. After a while I the mind goes numb and I must admit a certain lack in common sense because of it. I guess denial is the first stage of this vicious circle. The second stage is just adrenaline and endorfines and other hormones that keep rushing in your body because of the stress. Lack of judgment keeps me from taking proper lunches or dinners resulting in a further decline of proper judgment... And there we are, an addiction to rival a crack addict. I am in need for Workaholics Anonymous.

Anyways, I guess it is not all that dramatic. Relieve will come soon in the form of my amazing Korean friends in October when I'll be in Korea again for three weeks after more 15 months of absinth (freudian slip... I mean absence of course). Though there are times I just want to smash my head into the computer screen in front of me, hoping that the shards of the monitor will jam into my forehead giving me a blissfull peace. Unfortunatly even that is taken away from me as they replaced all screens with flat-screens that are not strong enough to even just knock me out for an hour or so, but just break down and only supply me with a very bad headache.