HeJin

Okay, "virginilize" is not a word... but still!

2010-07-09T18:59:00.002+09:00

Okay, so... According to a new bill proposed in South Africa, women are suppose to be protected from porn. Of course! why didn't I ever realize this before women would never watch porn, they are all nice ladies who would only have sex because they are good wives (please note my sarcastic tone.) This recent attempt to infantilize women as goody-two-shoes who should be mentally virginized (I know it's not a word, but couldn't think of another) is just pissing me off.

Sorry, I'm going on with my rant without the appropriate background info. A draft bill proposing a ban on sexual content on the internet and cellphones was submitted to the South African Department of Home Affairs in May 2010, it was developed by Justice Alliance of South Africa (JASA). The bill is claimed to be in the best interest of women and girls.

Fine, protecting children and all that jazz. But the thing is, women... they don't need to be protected. Yes, that's right, this activist here says that women do not have to be protected! And least of all from porn, given that a fair amount of my friends (those of the female gender) here in South Africa watch more porn than the average male; guess what, they actually enjoy it!

Women are not children, they don't need to be protected, instead their rights need to be respected; those are two very different things. Can't solve the issue of violence against women by just patching it up by protecting the women, rather look at the causes and do something about that. Censoring all pornography? Apart from infuriating my female friends and putting them on withdrawal, what will that do?

...censorship will, more than likely, be used to entrench content in support of patriarchy and stereotypical views of women
- Sally-Jean Shackleton

Secondly, freedom of expression is entrenched in the South African constitution; an African version of the Great Firewall of China doesn't really fit in. Censorship in this light, for reasons of virginilizing women, well... see my friend's quote above...

The Justice Alliance of South Africa's Honoray Director, having made quiet some homophobic comments(link, really need to get laid, properly and good, 'cause obviously they've been doing it wrong...

rant over...

Ref.

Shackleton, Sally-Jean. Justifiable protection or entrenching patriarchy? Pornography and the internet in South Africa. APC (2010-7-6). Retrieved 2010-7-9

South Africa Proposing a Ban on Pornography over the Internet, on Mobile Phones. Cellular News (2010-5-28). Retrieved 2010-7-9

A human safari

2010-06-28T22:08:00.003+09:00

They call themselves the Ang, which means ‘human being’, yet they are being ogled at like animals in a game reserve - Stephen Corry, Survival International

Everyone is human, but some are less human than others... No matter how much equality and human rights are promoted, it seems that capitalist society - and here I do want to say that it has a western flavour to it - continues to find ways to express their superiority complex... There was slavery, genocide, colonialsm,... and now tourism it seems...

The Jarawa, who call themselves the Ang, are a small tribe of 240 individuals who live on the Andaman islands. For 55,000 years they've lived their lives, relatively untouched by the outside - so-called "developed" - world. Now, a road runs through their forest, and they are being advertised online and offline by travel companies in safari like trips.

Survival International, an NGO dedicated to the rights of indigenous populations, has denounced the trend of companies to offer trips to look at the Jarawa. While the Jarawa and their lands are suppose to be protected by the Protection of Aboriginal Tribes Regulation, 1956, trips are supposedly transit trips to legitimate destinations, on the road tourists are given opportunity to photograph and view the Jarawa. In 2002 a supreme court ruling ordered the road in question shut, however government has ignored this. Now, tourist companies are profiting from using the lands of the Jarawa as a safari park, with the Jarawa as the wild animals to be photographed and watched.

The Jarawa are under threat of disease, as they have no little resistance to illnesses that can be brought in from the outside; isolation as not given them the necessary immunity to many common diseases. They risk to disappear together with so many other indigenous people; now used as a "tourist attraction" in the wild, soon perhaps only in musea.

I have worked as a human rights activist for some time, most time actually, of my life... The ability of mankind to degrade and use others, has left such a bad taste in my mouth, for such a long time; I can barely taste my food anymore...

Ref.

Human Safari Tours Could Be fatal to the Jarawa Peoples, Intercontinental Cry (2010-6-17). Retrieved 2010-6-28

Human safaris threaten Andaman tribe, Survival International (2010-6-16). Retrieved 2010-6-28

Poem-a-week project

2010-05-07T16:45:00.003+09:00

Thursdays: an ibyang* intercontinental poem-a-week project

Four Korean Adoptees will contribute a poem every thursday on this new blog, check it out! Oh yeah, and I'm one of the four. Christy namee eriksen, john schill, HeJin (moi ^_^) and kim thompson are located in all corners of the world, from South Africa to South-Korea.

thursdaypoems.blogspot.com

*Ibyang (입양) is the Korean word for adoption

Belgium's lifts it's veil

2010-05-03T16:59:00.004+09:00

In my humble opinion, Belgium has shown it's colors. 136 votes in favour of banning the wearing of burka's in public spaces, 2 votes abstained and 0 votes opposed it.

The ban would concern any clothing that obscures the identity of the wearer in public spaces, security concerns were the main reason quoted by MPs who voted in favour; however, the debates that have been ongoing surrounding the burka and veils in Europa, and also in Belgium, do signal that this specifically is aimed at muslim women. And I say muslim women... While there can be a lot of back and forth on whether veils and the like are limiting Muslim women's emancipation, personally I believe it's a personal choice of each women; I'm not Muslim, and thus can't fully understand the context in which it's worn. Secondly, the discussion, and all our perspectives, are subjective in that we all look at it from our own cultural points of view. Thirdly, by implementing a law that will specifically affect Muslim women's expression of religion (no matter which context they choose to wear this "expression") you're, well, specifically targeting women which is bullshit.

First of all, it's nobody's business what clothing someone wears. Prohibiting specific articles of clothing is a violation of freedom of expression. It's a violation of individual freedoms protected by Belgian, European and international rights laws.

It can be argued that this specifically will target the burka and muslim women. I think it's doubtful that anyone wearing a ski-mask, or people wearing masks at carnaval or other events will be subjected to fines, etc. The latter is nicely covered by the possibility of municipal authorities to grant "exceptions" for such festivities.

I duly hope that the Belgian Senate will display more common sense and dignity, not to mention respect, than the Belgian Chamber of Representatives, by objecting to this law... but my hopes aren't high.

Ref.

Belgian lawmakers pass burka ban, BBC News (2010-4-30. Retrieved 2010-5-1

Belgian politicians pass veil ban, Al Jazeera (2010-4-28). Retrieved 2010-5-1

Troy...

2010-02-01T15:11:00.000+09:00

The empty page on my computer screen mocks me, haunts me, it doesn’t have eyes but stares into mine nonetheless. Fingers hovering over a black keyboard – oh, do I miss those old typewriters; at least the paper wouldn’t stare, lest it be ripped and mauled by frustrated writers.

Sweet coffee had forgotten its own bitter taste; avo-and-cheese sandwiches with a dash of pepper and too much salt; water turned mellow and lukewarm from neglect and jealousy, but I can’t help preferring the sweetened coffee that had turned as lukewarm as the water; they’re keeping me company on a desk that hasn't celebrated the New Year yet…

And when noon arrives, I will face my sorrows head on! Charge it! Rush it! Like amazons, with raised axe, riding chariot; some old forgotten Scythian war cry will strike fear into heartless demons. And I’ll forget that over time and decades, those demons had become my friends…

And I will rebuild the great gate, put stone on stone; hide behind Ilium’s great walls. I will build in my heart yet another Troy, to be burned…

Obama's Orwellian Journey~

2009-12-14T15:21:00.001+09:00

In a late response to Obama's speech when accepting his Nobel Peace Prize... I'm just going to quote US Congressman Dennis Kucinich

Once we are committed to wars instrumentality in pursuit of peace, we begin the Orwellian journey to the semantic netherworld where war is p[e]ace...

Ref.

Miller, S. A. (2009-12-11). "Anti-war forces bristle at Obama's Nobel speech". The Washington Times. Retrieved 2009-12-12.

Nobel Prize Inflation

2009-10-10T03:51:00.009+09:00

When I first read that Barrack Obama, incumbent president of the USA (for those who have not been living on this earth in the last couple year or so), won the Noble Peace Prize I thought it was a hoax: some news editor couldn't wait until April 1st '10 probably; it seemed like the only plausible explanation.

But no, we are witnessing what can only be described as Nobel Prize inflation. My theory being that the Norwegian Nobel Committee thought they should follow the international trend set by the economy in recent years and reevaluate the meaning of the prize alongside with the devaluation of the fixed prize money (about 10 million Swedish krona, which is a bit more than US$1,2 million) attached to Nobel Prizes.

For a man who has been in office for only 9 months and has yet to full-fill the promises he made during his campaign, to be put on the same level as Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi is not just premature; it's pre-embryotic if you ask me.

To quote:

The Times of London (in some online opinion piece):

"the prize risks looking preposterous in its claims, patronising in its intentions and demeaning in its attempt to build up a man who has barely begun his period in office, let alone achieved any tangible outcome for peace."

Mairead Corrigan (1976 Nobel Peace Prize laureate)

"[g]iving this award to the leader of the most militarized country in the world, which has taken the human family against its will to war, will be rightly seen by many people around the world as a reward for his country's aggression and domination."

Of course, it being a political faux pas to do otherwise, no official representative from any government has said anything else but positive. I distinctively remember Obama muttering the word "change", a lot; seems nothing has...

Happy Hangeul Day

2009-10-09T03:46:00.000+09:00

헬로 에브리바디! 헤피 한글 데이~

투데이 이스 한글 데이 인 고리아, 이트 셀러브레이트스 더 인벤티언 어브 더 고리언 알파벳 바이 더 고리언 킹 세정 더 그레이트.

^_^;

Recap...

2009-08-10T00:52:00.002+09:00

Okay... I realize that this blog I have here is becoming increasingly vague... and I kinda end up restructuring it to the point that the restructured structure is kinda structureless. Not a good thing, I can't seem to make up my mind about what to write here. Some social commentary? life stories? random ramblings (mostly these have been posted here)?

And then I linked my facebook notes to this blog... and twitter to facebook, and now everything is interconnected and in the end it all means not a damn thing.

Mostly cause my facebook became a mesh of at least three languages regularly featuring, which is confusing to most, and I've done that here as well. So I kinda need to decide... which language, which subject, and why a frikkin' Uni of Broken Glass...

because in the end that's what it is: broken glass, there is always broken glass...

O D. Brown, D. Brown! wherefore art thou such and idiot?

2009-04-03T00:11:00.007+09:00

Well, here I will explain just why. And I must say I do it with a nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the mere thought of this. I'd describe myself as tingly (can't help the little Whedon ref. ^_^)

While of course not being the perfectionist when it comes to the use of the English language, or any language for that matter, at least I get my linguistic facts straight (about the only thing about me that is, you know, quote-unquote straight)

But let's start with the issue in question, Digital Fortress by Dan Brown (Published in 1998 by St. Martin's Press, ISBN 0-312-26312-0), pages 11-12:

For two hours, Becker interpreted an endless stream of Mandarin symbols. But each time he gave them a translation, the cryptographers shook their heads in despair. Apparently the code was not making sense. Eager to help, Becker pointed out that all the characters they'd shown him had a common trait-they were also part of the Kanji language. Instantly the bustle in the room fell silent. The man in charge, a lanky chain-smoker named Morante, turned to Becker in disbelief.

"You mean these symbols have multiple meanings?"

Becker nodded. He explained that Kanji was a Japanese language [apparently this was revised to read "writing system" in later editions; "Kanji language", above, remained - ed.] based on modified Chinese characters. He'd been giving Mandarin translations because that's what they'd asked for.

"Jesus Christ." Morante coughed. "Let's try the Kanji."

Like magic, everything fell into place.

The cryptographers were duly impressed, but nonetheless, they still made Becker work on the characters out of sequence. "It's for your own safety" Morante said. "This way, you won't know what you're translating."

Becker laughed. Then he noticed nobody else was laughing.

Not only Becker laughed of course... but so did I and every person with even a grain of sense of Chinese characters in them. Naturally both hanzismatter and linguaphiles on livejournal have utterly ridiculed this already. Since the book has been out for more than 10 years, well I'm sure others have as well. Nonetheless, please just continue ridiculing it for no other reason than that Mr. D. Brown deserves it.

Now you would expect someone with an interest in Cryptography to know for a fact that there is no such thing as a Kanji language, doesn't exist. It's like diet friendly chocolate... idiotic to say the least. Of course there is no such thing as Mandarin symbols either, doesn't exist. Like the easter bunny humping snowwhite, it is... well you get the picture.

Just for those not understanding: Kanji are Chinese characters in use in Japan, they are simplified in some cases (not in all), and are one of the three writing systems used to write Japanese. Mandarin is a spoken oral dialect in China (a full fledged language in my opinion) and does not refer to the characters used to write it, those are called Hanzi (aka Chinese characters).

Now appart from that these characters cannot be read alone out of sequence. Neither is it possible to translate them character-by-character out of context, because Chinese, Japanese and Korean (the major languages that use them) have many characters that have multiple meanings or are used in compounds.

Apart from that D. Brown is just a bad writer. Not necessarily referring here to his stories alone, I find his writing style just... "poor" is the best word that comes in mind.

So questionable writing style, less than correct cryptography (read: idiotic), and stories that well... I know that fiction means fiction, but still.

Well maybe Mary Magdalene was really married to Jesus of Nazareth. Maybe they had a hundred fat children, who knows. Or maybe not, maybe Mary was actually Sharon, the assistant of the all-round family entertainer: Amazing Jesus (unfortunately he doesn't do children's parties) on his tour Changing Water Into Wine... At least, some do seem to think ^_^

South-Korea's AIDS nonsense

2009-03-16T16:32:00.008+09:00

Apparently in Jecheon in North Chungcheong Province, South-Korea, an AIDS-fear epidemic has broken out. Granted, South-Korea - like most parts of this world - has been all AIDS-fearish for the last couple of decades, still I do - as always - claim the right to rant about... call it an activist's prerogative if you will.

Okay short version to this latest episode: A cabdriver - who has tested positive for HIV - was arrested, and I quote, on suspicion of acting as a mediator in spreading HIV this Friday, ironically Friday the 13th. The guy went to sex workers, but also had sex with others... specifically, and I quote, ordinary housewives and others.

Now he did admitted on having unprotected sex. Bad? Yes, very. However he told this to the police after he actually was arrested and thus after the warrant was issued... Conclusion he still was arrested because of having sex with someone else, not for having unprotected sex.

Punchline: he got arrested cause he is HIV-positive and apparently in South-Korea you are not allowed to have any sex life then or you will be arrested as a mediator in spreading HIV, whatever that means...

Okay, a bad case of criminalization of HIV-positive people - duhh! no need to spell it out, says you... some of you at least... I hope and pray.

Oh and yeah, in this specific article they go on to quote an expert:

...the likelihood of catching HIV from unprotected sexual activity with someone who is HIV-positive is a mere 0.5 percent. "Since Jeon had been taking drugs to control the virus, the odds could be even lower,"

Ah! great incentive to start having safe sex this! and if you're quoting this, what's all this oh-dear-god-in-heaven-and-all-his-wacky-nephews we need to start prosecuting any HIV-positive people who have any sex fear??!!

And besides... in order to have consensual sex, you kinda need... well, eh... consent! You're in it together and you take responsibility together - ergo: use a frikkin' condom - and not shove it off on the other when the consequences start knocking down your door... or the fear of the consequences. Also, some education... s-e-x-u-a-l education might help with this, just a thought (please not the sarcasm here... please...)

The bottom line is: in a country with a legislation that states that all foreigners caught with HIV will be deported, without any reasonable sexual education, and where one third off all people who test positive for HIV commits suicide... well, I guess this comes off as something to be expected...

Nonetheless it makes me puke... and I really truly profoundly hate puking

Ref.

AIDS Fear Spreads in Jecheon County The Korea Times, March 15 2009.

8 Mar: International Women's Day

2009-03-08T01:23:00.004+09:00

In the line-up of "International Days", I'm sure there are more "Days" than there are days in the year nowadays, the 8th of March I guess is one of the better known: International Women's Day. First observed in 1909 on the 28th of February it now gained attention worldwide and recognition by the United Nations. In western society International Women's Day was observed through the 10s and the 20s but dwindled after that. Until it was revived by second wave feminists in the 60s.

Small side note of interest to some of you maybe: demonstrations marking the International Women's Day in Russia was the first stage leading up to the Russian Revolution of 1917.

Thus so far the history lesson, now let's get personal...

For me women's day would have been getting slammed into the pavement by a girl half my size (almost) and half my weight for a women's self-defense demonstration near City Hall in Seoul. You'd be surprised how far the prospect of a free lunch goes in convincing you to participate in such masochistic an event. In any case the event was called off due to people who were organizing it not really organizing anything... all I could think of was "damn, no free lunch!"

Though somehow the idea of being thrown down by a girl is enticing... Okay, I digress I digress...

But on this auspicious of days I do would like to give some critical comments to this women's movement. As a transgender woman, and a former sex worker, I guess I could say that this movement has it's issues, big issues, still... Especially here in South-Korea it seems that feminism too often equals anti-sex work, anti-let's-enjoy-having-sex (cause obviously all men who want sex are evil...), all about transgender-is-okay-but-you-aren't-women-and-you-don't-understand... Naturally I've gotten a bit of an aversion towards these radical second wave feminists that seem to dominate whatever movement here in Korea.

In Memoriam: Susanne Brink

2009-03-07T13:30:00.009+09:00

" I would myself have preferred to stay in Korea instead of being adopted and doomed to a lifelong status as an outsider, becoming a lifelong object of racism and discrimination..." - Susanne Brink

On March 6th 2009 Susanne Brink was buried in her Swedish hometown Norrköping, after she died on January 23th 2009 at the age of 45 after a fight with cancer. Susanne Brink, a Swedish Korean adoptee, brought the issue of international adoption to attention in South-Korea in 1991 after a film on her life's story was released.

The film Susanne Brink's Arirang shocked South-Korea. It showed the story of a child sent abroad to face a childhood of abuse, discrimination and racism. With it's release the issue of international adoption from Korea gained attention for the first time in the country where international adoption itself was born.

Adoption from South-Korea started after the Korean War, when the Holt family went to Korea in 1955 and adopted eight war orphans. Since then estimates of Korean children that have been sent abroad range from 150,000, babies according to the Korean Ministry of Health and Welfare, and over 200,000 by other sources. Still Korea sends around 2,000 babies abroad yearly for adoption, despite being one of the top economies in the world and one of the most developed countries. A 1988 estimate shows the hard currency adoption brings to Korea: 15 to 20 million dollars a child...

Susanne Brink dedicated a lot of time to shedding light on the serious problems that international adoption entails, and on almost all accounts I agree with her... There is no need to send children abroad from a developed country such as South-Korea. The countries possesses all the resources to take care of it's own.

But the sad truth is that South-Korea, while considered a developed nation, is in many ways still struggling with obsolete traditions - and wrong traditions. Single mothers are still facing stigmatization, family planning and safer sex education are lacking extremely, centuries of Confucanism are still taking it's toll.

And international adoption cannot escape it's inherent racialized issues... children of color, exotic babies, welcomed in the arms of well meaning white parents and families in the rich and developed - civilized- West... For a price that is.

t'Was early in mornings past
I looked to the sky, to the east

Heared a soft drop of rain,
maybe it lost its way trying to find
its cloud again

I heared a soft drop of rain, falling
maybe you heared it as well

- He-Jin Kim
Seoul, March 7th 2009
Dedicated to all those who try to make sense of "home"

rndm: "Brunch" mathematically contested

2009-03-05T01:11:00.004+09:00

Just to vent a random thought that occurred to me today.

Earlier today I was making an appointment over the phone with a friend when something (not-physical) hit me. The premises was to meet food related during a part of the day which is non-food related (breakfast, lunch or dinner). Then there is a word for brunch, namely brunch (obvious), but what if you want to have a brunch-like meal in the afternoon? As the other Seitz mentioned when I raised this vocabularic issue: there should be... (that is: if vocabularic ever becomes a word of course)

In any case our aim was to meet at around 5-6pm, which isn't dinnertime (unless you live in the Netherlands... but then again, inhabitants of that country are not qualified to have a say in this). In Korea I guess you can say that dinner is between 7pm and 9pm, anything after 9pm is considered side dishes for the alcohol(called anju in Korean) it doesn't matter if the side dishes are equal in size and nutrition as the hypothetical dinner here: before 9pm that food is called dinner with drinks, after 9pm it's called drinks with side dishes. Lunch is more or less general everywhere, set around 12 to 1pm (I can never figure out if noon is 12 am or pm, no matter how often I wikipedia it - wikipedia is now officially a verb: to wikipedia).

Thus 5-6pm does not constitute dinner, and is several hours behind lunch, which is clearly illustrated by the following:

Lunch + circa. 6h = 7pm or 8 pm or 7pm or 8 pm - circa. 6h = lunch

So if we take into account that lunch = 12 or 1 pm + food... then we can surmise that 12 or 1 pm = lunch - food !!! (this is still completely logical and as far as I know mathematically correct!)

Okay, moving on...

If 7pm or 8pm - circa. 6h = lunch and lunch = 12 or 1 pm + food

...then 7pm or 8pm - circa. 6h = 12 or 1pm + food leading to 7pm or 8pm = 12 or 1pm + food + circa. 6h end then to 7pm or 8pm - 12 or 1pm - food = circa. 6h (again! completely accurate!!!)

But! 7pm or 8pm - 12 or 1pm is clearly 6h or 7h

Thus 6h or 7h = circa. 6h!!!

Okay so what about the food... eh...

Conclusion: I spend too much time reading xkcd and now have lost the majority of my readers. Notheless the issue remains:

...

What about linner? or lunner?

Mar 3: International Sex Workers' Rights Day

2009-03-02T19:39:00.004+09:00

The 3rd of March is observed as the International Sex Workers’ Rights Day by various sex workers' rights organizations around the world, but especially in South Asia where it originated. Together with the 17th of December - The International Day to end Violence Against Sex Workers - which originated in the USA in 2003 as a memorial for the victims of the Green River Killer in Seattle, it is one of two "days" that resonate within an international sex workers' rights movement.

The day originated in 2001 when over 25,000 sex workers gathered in India at a sex worker festival organized by the Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee (Meaning "Unstoppable Women's Synthesis Committee"), a Kolkata based sex worker group whose membership numbers upward of 60,000 sex workers and members from their communities.

Links

Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee

Asia-Pacific Network of Sex Workers

Network of Sex Worker Projects

Feb 21: International Mother Language Day

2009-02-21T11:46:00.006+09:00

On the 17th of November, 1999, UNESCO decided to internationally acknowledge the Language Movement Day in Bangladesh as the International Mother Language Day... A day which I want to commemorate by writing a blog-post in every language I can speak reasonably fluent and maybe one that I pretend not to speak reasonably-ish.

So... in order of appearance (and fluency): Nederlands (Flemish is not a language! West-Flemish is by some standards, not so by others), english (He-Jinefied ^_^), Français (unlike what you would expect the standard version, not the the Belgian one), Esperanto and 한국말 (Korean - the South-Korean variety, garnished with lots of mistakes and served on a platter of simplified grammar).

Disclaimer: My Français is ancient, as in I have used it too long ago and my grammar sucks, especially all the femine, masculine... comes with being transgender I think - gender, even grammatical gender, just doesn't follow any pre-established patterns. So read it and deal, or don't! either way if you can't handle it, just shove it, kay.

Dus begin ik met Nederlands, gezien vandaag de Internationale Moedertaaldag is, is het vanzelfsprekend dat Nederlands effe gedag komt zeggen. Moet ik wel toegeven dat ik me soms afvraag wat er bedoeld wordt met native language of mother tongue - moedertaal... Nederlands is noch de taal van de moeder die ik niet heb, of native? inheems? whatever... het klinkt in ieder geval niet juist gezien Koreaans die quote eer unquote heeft, terwijl mijn Koreaans eerder een poging tot Koreaans is. Mijn Nederlands aan de andere kant komt niet zo natuurlijk meer, wanneer men een taal niet spreekt... echter toch wel wat schaamte, engels de massa moordenaar der talen poogt ook hier een slachtoffer op te eisen (effe de schuld op de engelse taal afschuiven.)

But then again I don't mourn that much about the little loss I've had in the Dutch department, I can still fluently converse and write in it, fully understand it, make fun of the fact that the Flemish speak better Dutch than the Dutch, etc. And I must admit, Dutch isn't the most beautiful language around, that honor goes to obscure tongues such as Gaeilge and Cymraeg, Euskara, Diné bizaad, etc. Then again my over-use of english isn't all that good and well - and definitely not beautiful, english's value lies in the fact that it is the Jack the Ripper among languages, just so much material is published in english, so many speak it either as first language or second - to the extent that those native english speakers in this world bathe in linguistic arrogance and monoglottism... in fact, let me go back and edit all the capital letters from english, just to annoy those native english speaking monoglots among you.

Mais tres belle est la Français, vraiement. C'est comme le Merovingian a dit, est-ce que vous vous rapellez le film Matrix Reloaded?

I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculé de ta mère. It's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

Vraiement c'est juste, nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperies de connards d'enculé de ta mère! Mais je pense que je jamais utiliserai de la soie comme papier cul. Une langue tres belle pour injurier, fulminer, mais aussi faire l'amour, même le mot pour fuck est plaisant: baiser...

Sed la problemo kun la franca lingvo estas, kun aliaj belaj lingvoj mi pensas, ke tiu estas malfacila. Do mi prenis multajn tempojn por lerni ĝin... La plej facila lingvo por lerni estis Esperanto laŭ mi, mi lernis la gramatikon dum nur kelkaj semajnoj. Por paroli ĝin flue me bezonis unu jaron, sed post du monatoj mi jam povis interparoli kun alia geesperantistoj per la interreto. Ankaŭ mi amas la junulara movado de esperanto, sed mi ne scias se la ideo de Fin Venko estas bona por diverseco de lingvon... Ekde mi timas ke esperanto fariĝi kiel angla se ĝi uzantos tutmonde. Tamen, nun mi studantas esperanton ĉar mi amas ĉi tiun lingvon flekseblan.

그렇지만 한국말은 아주 어려워요, 아마 너무 어려워요. 저는 진짜 진짜 이말 잘 할 수 있고 싶어요. 그러나 4년간 한국말을 공부했지만 아직 잘 못해요. 여즈음에는 한국에서 살고 있는데 한국말로 정말 조금만 말하니까 영어를 가르쳐요. 그리고 한국에 에스페란토를 할 수 있는 사람을 많이 있어서 에스페란토도 더 해요.

Rearranging blog...

2008-11-28T18:55:00.001+09:00

I'm in the process of rearranging my blog somewhat and rethinking on what to post, what not etc... which is also the reason it's been quite here for a while, my apologies...

Online Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, 17th of December

2008-11-20T05:09:00.002+09:00

Hi everyone!

if you are on facebook...

...then join us and change your profile picture to a Red Umbrella on the 17th of December for the Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers!

http://www.new.facebook.com/group.php?gid=35978138838

For visibility of Sex Worker's movement on this day!

Also if you are on Orkut, Friendster, Hyves, etc.

The Red Umbrella is an international sign of Sex Worker's Rights! for more information go to www.swop-usa.org or www.sexworkeurope.org

Highlights at IAC 2008

2008-08-21T20:32:00.001+09:00

Firstly, the sex worker delegation made a great appearance. We managed to finally have UNAIDS respond to our continuing demands concerning the UN Guidance note on HIV and Sex Work. Which is a great achievement, we lobbied and worked hard to have meaningful participation of sex workers in re-drafting this guidance note to include the lives and rights of sex workers, but were ignored... until the Canadian HIV/AIDS Legal Network presented the Asia-Pacific Network of Sex Workers with and award for our work on this matter. So now come the process in making sure it's not just saving face for UNAIDS but actual meaningful involvement of sex workers in the process and decisionmaking. (more information and all the documents on this can be found on www.nswp.org)

Secondly, we accumulated a lot of publicity on the current situation in Cambodia. There a new anti-trafficking law (not very different than the on adopted in South-Korea in 2004) was taken in after pressure from the USA. After this law a giant crackdown on sex workers occurred, they have been arrested and locked up in the same camps used by Khmer Rouge, often withour proper drinking water, food, etc. They're being abused by the police, raped, etc. (if you want more information message me and I will email you some documents). In light of that our statements "Sex work is work", "Save us from our saviors" and "don't talk to me about sewing machines, talk to me about rights" resonated clearly.

Thirdly, My poster presentation "Transgendercide: the Impact of conceptualizing transgenders as men who have sex with men" got specific mention in the final rapporteur session. Also the session that I chaired on Male/Transgender sex workers was the first ever at an International AIDS conference in it's entire history and received good attention. I think we did a great job in stating that transgenders are not gay men (or men who have sex with men), that transgenders are women and have a right to self-determination, that transgender women should have access to women's health resources and that current policies are inadequate as they make transgenders invisible.

We still have a long way to go, but at this conference we did a lot in ensuring people start listening to sex workers and trans people.

Transphobia, Pride and the Police

2008-07-17T15:57:00.006+09:00

An open letter to trans organisers and Pride 2008 participants in London

Facebook Group: Stop Transphobia At Pride

"UK: Public Statement on the Incident at the women's toilet at Pride involving a Trans woman" from Pride London forwarded by email on July 8th by Press for Change

Letter to the trans community by Steve Allen (Metropolitan Police) of 11 July, 2008

We were very sorry to hear that Roz Kaveney, a well-known trans activist who has made important contributions to trans organising, was harassed in the middle of the Pride march when trying to use the women's toilet, first by a steward sub-contracted by Pride and then by an LGBT liaison officer.

The two people, both presumably LGB:

· abused Roz by refusing her access to a women's toilet
· demonized her by comparing her to a man who had assaulted a woman (even though, as was later discovered, the victim had actually been trans)
· flagrantly used recent gains in gender citizenship legislation as a weapon against her by demanding a Gender Recognition Certificate
· attempted to criminalize Roz and those who spontaneously came to her support as an unlawful demonstration on private property (and had verbally abused them as a 'trannie mob')
· and threatened detention.

We welcome the debate that this incident has provoked, about the relationship between trans communities, wider LGB communities, and the police.

However, we believe that the debate has remained limited in several respects:
The representation of trans people and their interests.

In the debate, some individuals (particularly those involved in the public and voluntary sectors) appear to have appointed themselves as leaders and representatives of the trans community. We see several problems with this:

· Where do these individuals derive their accountability from?

Both Pride and the police have 'apologised', whilst defending their sub-contractors and officers. As solutions, diversity training (Pride) and a meeting and 'dialogue' (London Met Police) have been offered. As members of the trans community, we would like to know:

Who attended these meetings, and what entitles these individuals to represent 'the trans community'?
Whose interests exactly are being represented? How reflective are they of the trans community, which as we know is very diverse in terms of race, class and immigration status?

Who will carry out this diversity training?
Who will train stewards, and in what will they train them?
Whose trans issues will Pride volunteers and police be sensitized to?

Whose political voices have been heard?

In the debate so far, only the most conforming of trans voices have been heard. The political solutions suggested will likewise benefit mostly those who are already heavily networked up with the corporate LGBT sector and the police, and are regular participants in local government 'consultation and participation' settings.

How will this exacerbate existing divisions and hierarchies in the trans community, and lead to a new class of self-appointed 'community leaders' who claim the right to speak on everyone's behalf?

One trans 'leader' has urged trans people to refrain from writing angry letters to Pride, stating that this will endanger the "recommendations" and "negotiations taking place at the moment". She was uncritical of Pride's decision to report the letter writers to the police.

We want to know:
What are these recommendations?
Who is making them?
What gives her the authority to speak for all trans people?
Whose voices are being sidelined?
Whose interests are being represented?

How will we reflect the full spectrum of views and political responses to this incident, if we are not allowed to voice them?

· What kind of a society are we envisioning?

The strategies that have dominated the debate so far rely upon a citizenship model that reduces trans people to a 'minor/ity'. Do we want to be minors, who receive rights and privileges in return for our obedience and deference to a patriarchal state - which will protect our own best interests, which we cannot define and contest for ourselves? What other visions of society are possible?

2. The relationship between trans people and coercive gender norms

Some of the responses to the incident affirmed dominant gender binaries and hierarchies. For example, one trans organiser commented on Facebook that Roz was able to pass as a woman. In a different forum, a transman highlighted that Roz had had surgery. This would imply that those who resemble non-trans standards of gender most, are the least deserving of abuse. It leaves intact the hierarchy of obedience towards gender norms among transpeople – where rewards are due to those who pass most authentically.

A second example of such hierarchical thinking is on the Trans at Pride website. A butch lesbian, it is argued, would never have been excluded from the women's toilet in the same manner.

· This ignores the routine harassment experienced by gender-nonconforming people, and those who do not choose to pass as (non-trans) men or women.

· It also normalises the idea that binaried gender identity is a justifiable criteria for personhood and citizenship.

3. The relationship between trans people and the state

What is the relationship between transpeople and the state and its monopolies of power? Do we really believe in the myth of police protection?

Historically, the police have been perpetrators of gender violence rather than protectors against it. However, there is an increasing belief among queer and transpeople that the police are part of our community. Besides Pride, trans organisers, too, have invited police into our spaces. The 'Trans Community Conference' was even held in the headquarters of the London Met.

Who or what exactly are the police 'protecting' us from, and what does this 'protection' look like?

What if the police pose a threat themselves – who will protect us then?

Is it a coincidence that the 'LGBT liaison officer' joined in with Roz's abuse, rather than protecting her - and attempted to criminalise her and her supporters?

The shock with which participants in the debate reacted to this shows the success which the police have had in promoting themselves as 'pro-diversity' and 'equal opportunities employer', through such measures as sponsoring Pride and the Trans 'community conference' – or indeed years of expensive advertising campaigns.

If LGBT people are now the major symbols of police diversity, this was not always the case. It was the MacPherson Report into the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence, and its verdict that the police were 'institutionally racist', which created the need for the police to present themselves as pro-'minority'.

What has changed since then? The 'war on terror' is the new context for diversity politics. While the police are advertising themselves as diverse (largely through LGBT inclusion), police violence overall is again on the rise. If in the 1990s, there was wide-spread opposition to the routine 'stop and search' of non-white people, this is now widely accepted as necessary for 'our protection'.

Queer and trans people are increasingly buying into ideologies of 'terrorism' and 'Muslim homophobia'. [1] The unspoken subtext behind involving police of community events is often that LGBT people (assumed to be white) need 'protection' from Muslim people (assumed to be homophobic and transphobic). At the same time, white, middle-class queer and trans people participate in processes of gentrification, by organising events in brown, working-class communities which are perceived as very different from the queer/trans participants – at times exotic, at others threatening.

What does this mean, on a national and international level?
In consenting to police protection and inviting the police to enter our events, how do we participate in the Security Ideology which is serving to terrorise non-whites and other criminalised groups, such as sex workers? In presenting ourselves as a collective object in need of protection, how are we allowing the state to use us as an excuse to brutalise racial others in Britain and abroad?

Wherever there are people in uniforms there will always be gender violence. This is the case internationally – from the Stonewall riots in New York City in 1969 to transphobic and homophobic violence in present-day occupied Iraq (where American soldiers are joining local militia in attacks on gender and sexually non-conforming people). Is it really surprising that the police attack us when we invite them as a mass presence into LGBT spaces?

Finally, not all LGBT people have the same relationship with the police. Some are safer in the presence of police than others, some may actively seek out proximity to the police, while others (such as undocumented transpeople, non-white transpeople and trans sex workers) are targeted by police as criminals.

One example of this was the asylum strand in the 'Trans Community Conference', held at the headquarters of the London Met. The conference, and its venue, were widely celebrated as a step for inclusion, even though it actively excluded transpeople to whom this venue would have been dangerous or inaccessible. However, whose inclusion are we talking about, and what does this inclusion mean? Are we talking about a safer society for transpeople, or about status, funds and positions for the most powerful of transpeople?

In summary, we see an urgent need for a queer and trans politics which:
stays autonomous of the police.

goes beyond tokenism, opportunism and paternalism, and seeks to empower all queer and transpeople rather than a select few.

refuses to be enlisted into racist backlash and imperialist war.

challenges corporate LGBT interests rather than training them to hide their hatred of us behind more 'pc' language as well as meaningless policy acronyms (LGBT-BAME, more of the SAME).

We look forward to hearing allied voices.

Pride and Solidarity,
People's Revolutionary IDeas Eatery

[1] For an example of LGBT racism and imperialism, see issues 706 and 709 of Pink Paper ('Blood and Sand' and 'Ready for War'), which celebrated the gay participation in the war on Afghanistan. Confer also Leslie Feinberg's critique of Peter Tatchell in Workers World: Anti-Iran protest misdirects LGBT struggle, (17 July 2006) and Jasbir Puar's book Terrorist Assemblages: Homonationalism in Queer Times, Durham: Duke University Press (2007).

A recent example of queer and trans Islamophobia is the facebook discussion which followed an incident of transphobic name-calling at the Transfabulous picnic in June 2008. Photos of the incident were published on facebook and commented on in Islamophobic ways, such as:
'Not to make any assumptions, but they are probably Muslims. Why not tell them that Ayatollah Khomeini spoke in favour of transsexuality and that the Iranian state (which they probably will recognise as an Islamic state) pays for operations? (I know the motives and ways they do it are not wonderful but that's not quite the point here. It's just a way to make those kids change their mind and show them how ignorant they are)....'.

South-Korea's beef with the internet

2008-07-04T01:42:00.002+09:00

For the last 58 days, every day in South-Korea has been marked by "candlelight vigils". While these vigils were started by highschool and middleschool students to oppose the import of US beef, they have grown to inlcude every demographic in the country and have become a public platform that shouts out not just against American beef, but against many policies presented by Lee Myung Bak and his administration in the Korean Blue House. Privatisation of medical services, Grand Korean Waterway, His authoritarian crackdowns on free speech and his attempts to control the press, these are but several of the issues that lead thousands and thousand every night to demand his resignation on the streets of Seoul. On June 10th, the day of the Korean people ousted the military dictatorships in 1987, almost half a million people gathered in Seoul alone.

While many of his actions worry me, his stand on the internet and press is one that most concerns me. Especially his stand on the internet is problematic, and reflects in many ways the infamous attitudes of the People's Republic of China. Restrictions of free speech were common in Korea before 1988, during military rule, and the press was in firm control of the government. Only twenty years into democracy Lee Myung Bak seems to slowly move back to just that. He appointed several of this close aides, campaign leaders and close political allies in key positions in several broadcasting agencies such as YTN and Arirang TV. KBS is currently under pressure of the governement because it tended to report about the candlelight protests, something which led to protests by citizens in front of their offices. Yet in the age of internet the influence of the press is limited: blogs, internetboards, independent newswebsites, all of those wield ever stronger opinions, something that didn't go unnoticed by the current administration.

“Spam mail from anonymous users and the spread of false and inaccurate information is threatening reason and trust on the internet. The internet needs to be a place of trust. The strength of the internet can be poison instead of medicine if people cannot have faith in it.[1] Those are the words of Lee Myung Bak on Jun 17th. The false and inaccurate information relate to the candlelight protests held every night by citizens, at the start of those protests the Supreme Prosecutor General’s Office already announced that it would look into possibilities of prosecuting those "spreading false rumors about US beef".[2] Yet what would the effects be if such procecution is actually carried out? When claiming the importance of such "Freedom of Trust", "Freedom of Speech" has to clear the way in the mindset of the current South-Korean administration.

While not related directly to the internet, the case of MBC "PD Notebook" shows similar attitudes. "PD Notebook" is news program on the MBC that focused on BSE in the US on April 29th. Currently it's under investigations for "spreading false rumors" about US Beef.[3] Yet whether these are true or false, investigation by a prosecution office shows that the investigation itself is a political one. Because if in the end press, internet users and others can be prosecuted for "false rumors" the current three conservative newspapers: JongAng Ilbo, DongA Ilbo and Chosun Ilbo, as well as the governement itself, should be investigated for spreading rumors that might be potentially false. Such arguments are merely a tool to suppress specific news and opinions, because they provide an excuse for investigation... The simple fact that the Lee Myung-Bak's governement is using it says more than anything he has ever said during this entire crisis.

Ref.

[1]. "Internet free speech to be restricted: Cheong Wa Dae takes steps to decrease negative public online opinion" The Hangyoreh, June 18 2008.

[2]. "Law enforcement officials pledge to prosecute people for ‘mad cow horror stories’: Gov’t appears threatened by spread of information via the Internet and increased number of candlelight protests" The Hangyoreh, May 8 2008.

[3]. "Investigation into MBC program raises questions about press freedoms: Media insiders say MBC report should be handled within the media community, not by the prosecution" The Hangyoreh, June 30 2008.

Lee Myung-Bak get out!!!

2008-06-28T05:44:00.004+09:00

For those in South-Korea. This saturday!

7 pm protest at gwanghwamun!!!

카노스 7주년 기념! 후원파티 come closer에 초대합니다

2008-06-17T21:58:00.003+09:00

카노스는 HIV/AIDS감염인 스스로 자신의 권리를 위해 싸우고, 에이즈에 대 한 사회적인 차별과 낙인을 해소하기 위하여 지난 7년간 다양한 활동들을 진행해 왔습니다. 지난 7년간을 돌이켜보면, 참으로 어렵고 힘든 시간들도 많이 있었습니다. 그러나 회원님들의 도움과 많은 단체들의 도움으로 이곳까지 올 수 있었다고 생각됩니다. 회원들의 도움이 없었다면, 결코 해내지 못하는 일이었지요.

카노스가 성장한 모습을 함께 지켜보며, 카노스가 앞으로 나아갈 방향을 함께 고민한 회원님들, 후원회원님들, 연대단체 활동가들과 함께 이번 후원파티를 즐겁게 만들어 가면 좋겠습니다.

일시: 2008년 6월 21일 토요일
장소: 대학로 일석 기념관
문의: 카노스 상담전화 [0505-448-1004]

이번 후원파티는 티켓을 판매예정입니다.
티켓을 구매하시고자 하시는 분들은 방문후에 구매하시거나,
미리 카노스 활동가에게 구매해 주시면 감사하겠습니다.

* 약도는 후원의 밤 일주일 전에 공지하도록 하겠습니다.

Painted...

2008-05-05T18:20:00.003+09:00

This painting was done by 살바도르, a friend of a friend. She based it on me... Made it after seeing un/going home (the docu that will haunt me for the rest of my life) now I don't look literally like this, but I like the stylistic me nonetheless ^^ Looks prettier than me actually I think. Anyways I wrote a poem...

- February 15th, Amsterdam -

I painted my skin
In flowers and patterns
quite literally, actually
giftwrapped myself
... with silver and blood -
drops, drops, drops
Never does it stop
take a turn
roll over
or ever play dead.

A thought came to me
gift-wrapped, not in silver,
bright colors
rainbows made of a thousand scents

I took for granted,
the smell of blood

Gonna shock me some Koreans!

2008-05-02T20:59:00.000+09:00

So, counting down, 7 days and I'm on a plane to Korea. Everyone has been asking me what I'm gonna do there, and I can't really answer them. Except that I'm gonna go and shock me some Koreans, kissing queer gals in the subway during rushhour and other assorted things. When I planned this entire moving-to-Korea thing, my plan kinda ended with stepping on that plane there.

But now I know what I actually will be doing the first weekend there! I have a plan stretching at least 5 days after my arrival! I am plan-gal and damn proud about it! Usually I am more making-it-up-along-the-way-gal...

So da plan: Arrive, drop of my baggage at a friends, and meet up with a bunch of gals for this queer women's camp, I guess it's sort of a lesbian MT without actual formal membership. After that... you I guess I'd be back to making it up along the way.

Leaving on a jetplane...

2008-04-24T22:57:00.000+09:00

"Tomorrow I am leaving on a jet plane and by the time I get to Phoenix love will keep us together, ...'Cause I'm just an embryo, with a long, long way to go, but I know too much to go back and pretend!..."

- Hedwig and the Angry Inch, (1999 stage)

Well I'm not going to phoenix, pretty much in the opposite direction (Seoul), and no loving waiting there as far as I know. At least not the girly boy love, some friendships and some people I care a lot about and truely love, and sex, definitly sex waiting over there. Whatever, I just love that line from Hedwig stage performance, which by the way I like better than the film adaptation.

So... leaving on a jetplane, don't know when I'll be back again, quite literally. I made the step I've been telling everyone for over a year. I've packed up my vagina and I'm gone! (or stole my vagina from Dutch health insurance policy, if you will). Some call me stupid, others call me insane, guess I'm just bold. No idea where I'll live, if I'll have an income, if I'll ever regain my sanity or not end up on the streets forever lost. Well I'm being dramatic, things just seem like it.

Guess I'll figure things out on the run...

IGONG Sex Work film program

2008-04-21T19:34:00.000+09:00

상영작품 리스트 (10편)
<코스와스 특별전>

섹션1.(60분)
거리 위의 생존자 - 嘜相害 [street survivor]
- 임정걸 林靖傑，진보영상공작팀 向左走影像工作隊 | 21min | 2006
나이 든 아가씨들 : 베일런과 소녀들 - 老查某─白蘭和她們 [Old Chicks : Balian and her girls]
- 채안산 蔡晏珊 | 39min | 2006

섹션2.(50분)
추앙받았던 성노동자, 구안의 전기 一代名妓——官秀琴紀念短片 [Memoir of Miss Kuan, A Celebrated Sex Worker]
- 정소탑 鄭小塔(Zita Jeng) | 25min | 2007
구원의 초 [Our Life-Saving Vinegar]
- 정소탑 鄭小塔(Zita Jeng) | 25min | 2007

<특별상영>
밤의 요정들의 이야기 [Tales Of The Night Fairies]

<한국의 성노동 담론전>
꽃파는 할머니 박성미 | 1999 | 42분 | 다큐멘터리 | 제4회 인권영화제 상영
세라진 김성숙 | 2004 | 21분 | 극영화 | 서울독립영화제2004 본선경쟁작
마마상 조혜영, 김일란 | 2005 | 65분 | 다큐멘터리 | 서울여성영화제 여성신문상 수상
언고잉 홈 [Un/going home] 김영란｜2007｜34분 23초 | 다큐멘터리｜인디포럼2007 개막작
언니 계윤경 | 2007 | 90분 | 다큐멘터리 | 인디다큐페스티벌 2008

Rant against Fitna

2008-04-05T20:49:00.001+09:00

I recently saw Fitna, the highly debated and criticized film by Dutch parliamentarian Geert Wilders, and it made me sick. There is no constructive argument whatsoever, just one message: Islam = Evil. It's a dangerous 15 minute insult to both religious freedom and freedom of speech. Quoting Geert Wilders "I don't oppose Muslims just Islam ideology", what the f*ck??!! Maybe on of his great, charismatic one-liners that make him the politician he is, but this is even beyond stupid for him and that is saying something.

The Qur’an is no more evil than the bible is, or any other holy book. They all have things in them that should be interpreted in a historical context, and they have old traditions in them that should be discarded or changed. That's just that, traditions change, which is a process that happens all the time often unnoticed by most. And discriminating traditions should change, words in the Qur’an and the bible shouldn't be taken seriously. I mean I can find a fair amount of sexist and violence inciting quotes from the bible that are very similar, but hey... historical context! Interpret the text, don't rip sentences out there to re-brand to serve your own ideas. Those books aren't written for that.

I oppose religious extremism and violence, as I oppose any form of violence. But to equate and ideology with violence? or to start lecturing Muslims on having the tear pages from the Qur’an while the bible still stands intact? After insulting them? Wilders is crossing a line here, one of common sense among others.

He did do cause something that I thought would never happen, it made me agree with Jan Peter Balkenende, current Prime Minister of the Netherlands (unfortunately...). I never hide my dislike of him and his damn moralistic politics but his comments on Fitna: "The film equates Islam with violence. We reject this interpretation. The vast majority of Muslims reject extremism and violence. In fact, the victims are often also Muslims... ...We therefore regret that Mr. Wilders has released this film. We believe it serves no purpose other than to cause offence." mark the first time that I will admit agreeing with him.

From my point of view Geert Wilders poses a much bigger threat to the Netherlands than the Qur’an ever will. Rant over.

Staring...

2008-03-22T05:26:00.000+09:00

Okay... Little death-wishy stuff. I'm not the suicidal type but I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer for hours the night that I wrote this and I was feeling a bit Joss Whedony. So this is just a blue rant poem, I like it. Hope you do too but don't take the words for the meaning imbued. I so am not making sense...

- March 19th, Amsterdam -

An angel, silently she came
there was light, and dark
and singing

An angel,
pushed on my thighs, wet and unused
sat and held me down
upon the bed I screamed
but words, choked, left me
an angel, clawing
and hissing

The mirror, she stared at me
I turned away, my eyes would burn

Sex Worker Pride Anthem - The Burnout

2008-03-10T18:45:00.000+09:00

International Sex Worker Rights Day, March 3rd
Launches Sex Worker Pride Anthem!!
Courtney Trouble & Scarlot Harlot- The Burnout

Sex Worker Rights Music Video by
http://www.sexworerfest.com/Trouble
swfest@bayswan.org

The San Francisco Sex Worker Film and Arts Festival premieres this sex worker anthem, Courtney Trouble's "The Burnout," a music video by Scarlot Harlot and Courtney Trouble in English, Chinese and Thai.

The makers wish to thank and acknowledge the sex worker activists around the world for their work and inspiration.

Also visit Sex Workers Present
from APNSW, to view many sex worker videos
including “Taking The Pledge”
from the Network of Sex Work Projects.

In this video, a 'day in Courtney's life' parallels her journey from phone sex to sexual representation/pornography as well as her political journey, interwoven with sex worker demonstrations, clips and photos from organizations listed here.

This music video reflects a personal and local story, and a political story that reaches out to individuals and organizations which resist discrimination and work towards social justice and human rights for sex workers. Many find a common voice in Courtney Trouble's frustration, pride and defiance.

"How soon I got over, waiting alone at home for the telephone. Why do you care...you can't see me...don't wanna know me at all but I know you wanna get off."

Trouble's frustration evolves into a recognition of her mission to 'seize the means of production.'

"It's just like anything else, it's just a job, but we've got the guts to profit off our own skin. They won't acknowledge us until we own enough to control it. They won't respect us until we give them no other choice."

Courtney Trouble has also been an artist, singer, designer, and photographer for many years. Her work can be viewed at www.courtneytrouble.com.

Filmmaker Carol Leigh AKA Scarlot Harlot has been a sex worker and activist since the late seventies. A poet and performance artist, she coined the term "sex worker" in 1979. She was recently awarded a Creative Work Fund Award to compile her sex worker documentaries as part of the library at the Center for Sex and Culture (www.sexandculture.org). "Unrepentant Whore: The Collected Work of Scarlot Harlot" was published by Last Gasp. For more info, visit her websites at www.bayswan.org/penet.html and www.unrepentantwhore.com

My windowsill...

2008-02-23T23:32:00.000+09:00

A birthday present for Orin... ^^

- Februari 22nd, 2008 Amsterdam -

Thinking of someday I fell asleep,
sitting on my windowsill.
Tomorrow rushed ahead
and I couldn't even catch up with yesterday.

I don't hear voices
or names, I see the sounds
in gold and silver linings.

I remembered years ahead
some vague phrase,
uttered, incomprehensible
but filled with love,
or a flower,
maybe.

Going home...

2008-01-28T20:45:00.000+09:00

This poem is an old one, and I feel one of the better ones I wrote. Not so much because it is written well, but because it feels like me, it is me. It shows the feelings I am product of, and the arc in my life. If the poem sounds bit depressing, it isn't, especially the last lines can be interpreted very positively...

- November 12th, 2004 Amsterdam -

Three days, just one night
Took a train into my soul
No Idea what I would find
Three nights and I'm gone

A home in my head
I wish I could find
The way through hell
Then I'll never look back

Three nights, just one day
I stared into my soul
Missed the train
I'm going back home

Protest for an inclusive Anti-Discrimination bill!

2007-12-07T20:02:00.000+09:00

http://lgbtact.org/english

Join the facebook group:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5888274167

Sign the online petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/lgbtsk/petition.html

In South-Korea a general Anti-discrimination bill announced on October 2, 2007 by the Ministry of Justice included sexual orientation along with a range of other categories as prohibited grounds for discrimination.

However due to pressure from (christian) conservative groups in South-Korea the current draft of the law was changed to exclude protection from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, medical history, national origin, language, educational background, family situation or family status, and criminal or probation history.

The alliance Alliance against Homophobia and Discrimination of Sexual Minorities is campaigning to restore all 7 deleted categories and include "Gender Indentity" as well. The ensuing controversy caused it to be withdrawn for further study and revision. It is expected to be re-released on Nov 27 before coming to a vote in the National Assembly sometime in March 2008. In the mean time campaigning continues

Rated X - Alternative Erotica Film Festival

2007-11-05T18:52:00.000+09:00

www.videoinferno.nl

VideoInferno presents

RATED X - AMSTERDAM ALTERNATIVE EROTICA FILM FESTIVAL

15.16.17.18 NOVEMBER 2007 – OT 301 – Overtoom 301– AMSTERDAM

VideoInferno, in collaboration with De FilmFreak and Blue Artichoke Films, presents Rated-X, Amsterdam Alternative Erotica Film Festival, the first Dutch film festival entirely dedicated to alternative, artistic and radical erotica. Three days and four nights of big screen sexuality coming from a myriad of different perspectives.

Plenty of shorts and feature films, from Anna Biller's tribute to the lost innocence of 60's sexploitation "VIVA", to Maria Beatty's fetish fantasies. From Danish female oriented erotic cinema to Willem Van Batenburg's Pruimenbloesem, the first full length Dutch porn movie.
Several guests and speakers, among which Maria Beatty (director) and Willem Van Batenburg (director). Jennifer Lyon Bell (director of Blue Artichoke Films) will discuss the many confronting themes related to sexuality, eroticism and pornographic imagery in cinema and society.
Multiple video-installations, an exclusive presentation of the erotic/esoteric work of Italian painter Saturno Buttó, a sultry opening party with live acts and D&Vj's, and a dirty electro afterparty by Electronation on Saturday. This and much more to celebrate all of the tastes and flavours of erotic cinema.

For more information on VideoInferno and RATED X - AMSTERDAM ALTERNATIVE EROTICA FILM FESTIVAL, please check the website

Which Female Action Hero Am I?

2007-10-18T14:26:00.000+09:00

http://www.brainfall.com/test31_1.php

Okay I was insuffrably bored... this is the result... The other options were Rogue (X-Men!), Princess Leia and The Bride.

I wanted to be Rogue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	You are part Wonder Woman. You have a powerful and strong personality, and you use your persuasiveness and wisdom to keep firm control over your world. You are hard to break.
	You are part Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You are outgoing, warm, and sociable. Your intelligence and intuition give you a strong sense of right and wrong; you may be soft, sweet, and a little air-headed at times, but you are fully capable of proving yourself more than a stereotype.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Seven...

2007-10-10T11:05:00.000+09:00

- Oct 9th, 2007 Seoul -

Seven needles pierced my heart
but it doesn't bleed,
it cherishes the edges
and there is no pain,
not one drop
of seven flowers.
a rose, two lilies, one azalea
two eyes, just one more for me

I hold on to the air
but it fails me
it doesn't mean to
it just feels
like seven drops of ocean...

if I would believe in god,
then would god believe in me?

Airport security

2007-09-30T15:17:00.000+09:00

So...

I arrived at Schiphol airport to leave for Sydney, looking towards a 26 hour travel time, including a 6 hour transfer at Incheon. Right in time as usual, nothing wrong, all as planned. All as planned and expected, including this: Airport security... I always get some sort of trouble from them in they need to search me, the entire is she-a-man-or-is-he-a-woman, by now I am so used to it that it even bores me. In any case I have learned to make sure that there is no reason to search me. I just make sure I follow all security regulations to the smallest detail and dress so that the metal detectors would not even notice me walking through in the slightest.

No, when I was rushing to pack, I stuffed my dilator in my handluggage as I didn't had room anymore in the suitcase I was going to check-in, and I was stressing as well. Bad idea... Schiphol airport security are %&#! in every sense of that word. So they noticed the thing in on the X-ray, big deal. So it looks like a dildo, big deal. So they wanna giggle-slash-laugh a bit about it, big deal... I would do the same. But no, thinking that I don't understand Dutch they start this loud conversation right in front of me about whether I was a man or a woman and that it would be weird to have it as a man and blablablablabla... No, I am a patient and sweet girl, but this time they didn't put a toe out of line but marched straight over it. So I snapped at them in Dutch, in any other situation the look on their faces would be fun when they realised I understood every word they had said, in this situation their silent imitation of a drowning fish was not amusing. A polite "sorry for my rude behaviour" would've been very welcome.

So, that's what you get at Schiphol. Same handbag, same content at Incheon at the security: nothing but a polite goodbye and a smile. Sydney: nothing. Schiphol: full of shit!

Oxfam International Youth Partnerships 2007 - 2010

2007-09-27T21:37:00.000+09:00

www.iyp.oxfam.org

Friday I will fly halfway across the world to Sydney for Kaleidoscope 2007. This event is the start meeting for the Oxfam International Youth Partnerships 2007 - 2010 organised by Oxfam Australia. I'm one of the lucky 300 selected out of 3000 applicants.

The Oxfam Internationa Youth Partnerships bring together young people and youth from all over the world that work in their specific communities towards social change. All those selected are involved in social minority communities, like lgbt or indiginous people, are youth activists and advocates. The Partnerships itself consists of a three year program. Mainly of course through the internet, the event in Sydney takes 8 days and is only a start off. But I'm looking forward to learning more and for new oppurtunities to collaborate with others working in similar fields in the rest of the world.

Sexuality and D66

2007-09-17T20:23:00.000+09:00

Sex and Politics... it feels like a Long Island Iced Tea with too much sour mix.

Yesterday I gave a workshop about sexuality for D66, a small social-liberal polical party in the Netherlands, together with the Björn van Roozendaal, Chair of IGLYO and Thirza Bronner, Chair of D66 Amsterdam-West. I was asked to talk about sex work and the sex industry in the Netherlands. Personally, while I don't really identify with any polical party in the Netherlands, I feel more for GreenLeft than D66. Though any oppurtunity to lobby shouldn't go wasted, and truthfully said: it's still one of the better parties in the Netherlands.

The discussion floated easily to the recent discussions about the famous Red-Light District in Amsterdam. Just to place things into context, here is the speedy version":

A long ago, in the land of Amsterdam, there was a Red Ligh District... Skip to present: this Red Light District is going to be gone if it's up to the PvdA, the Dutch labour party. More specifically: two of the PvdA city council members (aka Schaapman and Asscher) have taken up a personal (aka moralistic) crusade against the sex industry. Schaapman, drawing on her own experience in prostitution, feels she has to "save" us from such vile and a-moral practices. Apparently she feels that just because she had it bad, none other should feel better than she did. Tackling windows in Amsterdam is symbolic, nothing more. It's a hypocritical move, hoping to make this industry invisible and underground so they can pretend to have done a good job, regardlessly how bad to sex workers end up when the windows are gone. Take in mind, windows are one of the more independent and transparent ways of working in the sex industry. But of course "some people" think it's justifiable to force a group of independent and strong worker into the invisible and strip them of their independence just so other can feel good about themselves. Yes there is still coercion happening, but it's stupid and irrational to quote numbers like "99%" etc., even then actions should take the labour rights of the independent sex workers into account.

D66 does not yet have a position about this subject, but hell I wish they'd for one soon, and one that reflects their social liberal background and takes the rights and lives of sex workers themselves into account. Some humanity in all this hypocrisy wouldn't do any wrongs.

Barbie Doll Demo!

2007-09-14T20:24:00.000+09:00

www.sexworkeurope.org

Protesting in public may be too big a risk for you but not for Barbie or Ken, they are used to the paparazzi!

Ruth Morgan Thomas from the ICRSE and SCOT-PEP is organising a “Doll demo”. From Bishkek to Barcelona, from Malmö to Manchester sex workers across Europe speak out!
Beg, borrow or steal a doll or two, dress them up and make a protest sign for them.

Way-too-full-time-job

2007-09-10T18:33:00.001+09:00

Seriously...

Recently I've been having headaches and just now I am starting to realise why. Simply that I have, not just one but several, way-too-full-time-jobs. It just fucks with my head that the 28th is my first day off in whole of September. Not to mention the meager 3 days without at least 5-6 hours work that I was allowed to cherish in August. Summing up: IHLIA, YouAct, OIYP, PIC, etc. I'm losing track myself actually. It was easier to deal with it not knowing and just taking it on day by day, there is a reason I don't have an agenda of 2007 and just use a stack of notes for upcoming days, it makes it all seem less because the overview is lost.

A solution of just not working so much is difficult. After a while I the mind goes numb and I must admit a certain lack in common sense because of it. I guess denial is the first stage of this vicious circle. The second stage is just adrenaline and endorfines and other hormones that keep rushing in your body because of the stress. Lack of judgment keeps me from taking proper lunches or dinners resulting in a further decline of proper judgment... And there we are, an addiction to rival a crack addict. I am in need for Workaholics Anonymous.

Anyways, I guess it is not all that dramatic. Relieve will come soon in the form of my amazing Korean friends in October when I'll be in Korea again for three weeks after more 15 months of absinth (freudian slip... I mean absence of course). Though there are times I just want to smash my head into the computer screen in front of me, hoping that the shards of the monitor will jam into my forehead giving me a blissfull peace. Unfortunatly even that is taken away from me as they replaced all screens with flat-screens that are not strong enough to even just knock me out for an hour or so, but just break down and only supply me with a very bad headache.

20 years Remembrance

2007-09-06T20:32:00.000+09:00

www.homomonument.nl

"Naar vriendschap zulk een mateloos verlangen"

"For friendship such an endless desire"

Jacob Israël De Haan (1881-1924)

On September 5th, 1987, history was written with the unveiling of the first "gay monument" in the world "to inspire and suport homosexual men and women in their struggle against denial, oppression and discrimination." It is placed on the Westermarkt in Amterdam, around the corner of the Anna Frankhouse. Funded partially by restoration funds for homosexuals in WOII, it's still the biggest and most visible monument specifically for gay people in the world. For 20 years it is a symbol of hope, recognition, acceptance,... Maybe not just for gay and lesbians, but all those who love differently.

The monument was designed by Karin Daan and consists of three equilateral triangles made of pink granite that are connected by an inlaid band. This band creates a fourth, larger equilateral triangle. One of the triangles is situated on the edge of the Keizersgracht and protrudes into the canal. This triangle has a set of steps that leads from the street and narrows to create a point that is suspended above the water. The point of this triangle, which symbolises the present, faces the National War Memorial on Dam Square in the centre of Amsterdam. The second triangle, which is raised sixty centimetres above the ground and doubles as a podium, symbolises the future. Daan placed the third triangle between the paving stones. It points to the Anne Frank House and is the "memorial" that symbolises the past. A line from a poem is engraved in this stone: "Naar vriendschap zulk een mateloos verlangen" ("For Friendship such an endless desire"), from the poem, "To a Young Fisherman" by Jacob Israël De Haan.

Amsterdam Pride (and Prejudice...)

2007-08-06T20:55:00.000+09:00

Amsterdam Gay Pride, 1-4 August 2007

I've never really understood Gay Pride in Amsterdam. I mean, there are things to like (it's an nice party in the end, lots of visibility and a chance to take that queer looking outfit out of the closet) and things not to like (it's a nice party mostly for gay men, and mostly gay men who are visible and who are wearing the outfits), but there is something more to it I sometimes feel. Every time there is this huge fight... if it's not between the lesbians and gay men, it's between the city and the organizers, and if need the organizers will just organize the fight among themselves and the different partners to ensure the fight to happen. This year I didn't hear much fighting between the partners (Gay Business Amsterdam and the rest) but mostly between the city and the organizers. The issue at hand: the fact that during pride weekend there was also a football tournament and the expectation of lots of young handsome men that might not be so nice to all the pink stuff happening (aka homophobic hooligans).

Sometimes I honestly don't know what to be proud about during Amsterdam Pride. Just a look at the boots in the Canal Parade: ING bank, Job agencies, Television stations that never screen anything related to LGBT, Insurance companies,... Are we being proud of consumerism? No offense, we all consume, but this cashing into LGBT community just shows that Gay Pride here is more about companies promoting themselves in boots far out-decorating the gay and lesbian organizations and bars thanks to their budget than it is about a movement striving to make a change. Apart from that I feel there should be more to a "Pride Parade" than just gay men half naked on boats with only half a message attached to the nudity...

Closing... Closure

2007-07-31T19:41:00.000+09:00

It's a strange feeling, aproaching closure, and maybe with that new beginning?

I've had my main bottom-surgery, decided not to have top-surgery. Maybe a small corrective surgery later this year, but that's not sure yet, and no big deal actually. A new law in Belgium has made it easier to change my gender on my birthcertificate (or in my case the transfer certificate cause of my adoption, not sure what it is called) and my first name.

I had to get a visa for Australia and dug up my passport for that, it's like looking at the passport of a stranger. Sure enough I am so used to being He-Jin that my old name and gender-registration feel so distant and vague. Sure enough I feel strangely distant from the surgery that I had only recently, almost as if it had happened three years ago instead of three months. Soon, no pills anymore, just 6 monthly injections for hormones. So I guess soon it'll be over (as far as something like this can be over), it's taken 6 years of my life... And to be honest, 6 years ago I thought I'd feel different.

When something's been a driving force for such a long time, when it's no longer needed and it fades away so quick, it leaves you feeling empty. Strange how that goes, henna? Anyways, already when I had surgery and got out of the hospital it seemed that others were more excited about my surgery than I was myself. For me, I've always been me, and the physical change didn't affect my feeling that much. It just gave me a little wisper "it's over, you can start living on your own now."

Support ZiTeng

2007-07-14T23:17:00.000+09:00

http://www.ziteng.org.hk/aboutus/2007JUN29_e.html

SEND YOUR LETTER OF SUPPORT TO ZITENG AND SIGN ON TO THEIR PROTEST AGAINST POLICE RAIDS! ziteng@hkstar.com

ZiTeng is an NGO supporting the rights of sex workers in Hong Kong.

One-person-one-letter campaign against police extensive raids on one-apartment women
Recently, the police have started extensive raid on one-apartment women’s websites, flat owners. They also visit sex workers’ workplace for the survey, in which they force sex workers to provide all kinds of information. Sex workers have great worries that such police actions may end their business. Although the police spokespersons often claim that their actions are directed at the triad groups, the fact is that currently sex workers are mostly self-employed. The recent police raids on websites, flat owners, real estate companies and other people related with the work of one-apartment women only hurt sex workers. One-apartment women themselves are not illegal in Hong Kong. The police also state in different occasions that the sex work-related laws in Hong Kong (such as living on earnings of prostitution of others) are set up to protect sex workers from exploitation. However, police raids on websites and flat owners only discourage sex workers’ business. Sex workers are the ones to be eradicated. They can no longer make their living. They become the poorest victim. Hence, we now carry out a one-person-one-letter campaign to urge the police to respect sex workers. They have to stop police abuse immediately and all kinds of actions against the one-apartment women. Your support is highly appreciated. Please kindly send us your support and signature at ziteng@hkstar.com.

Our demands are as follows:
1. The police stop all actions against sex workers.
2. The police stop forcing sex workers to provide any kind of information and sign on the papers.
3. The police stop misusing the law, as well as wasting police manpower and resources on raiding sex workers. The Government should well use its resources on the development and betterment of the community’s social life, but not discouraging the business of one marginalized but self-reliant group.
4. Decriminalize sex work, repeal all the laws related with sex work, so that sex workers can enjoy their life.

一人一信反對警察洗太平地
警方近日洗太平地打擊一樓一網站、業主，又到性工作者的工作地方進行問卷調查，威迫她們提供資料，性工作者擔心警方會藉此把她們趕絕殺絕。雖然警方強調其行動只為打擊集團，但現時大部份的性工作者都是自僱人士，警方近日打擊網站、業主、地產及其他與一樓一工作有關人士的行動只是在打壓性工作者本身。香港一樓一並非違法，而警方亦經常強調與性工作者相關的法例(例如依靠妓女為生)背後目的是為了保護性工作者免受剝削；但警方現時拘控網站、業主等，卻令性工作者無法經營，最終的事實是性工作者被趕絕，無以為生，是最大受害者。因此，我們現發起一人一信行動，要求警方尊重性工作者，立即停止濫權及所有趕絕一樓一性工作者的行動，希望大家支持。請把你的支持和簽名電郵到 ziteng@hkstar.com。

我們的要求如下：
1. 警方停止打壓性工作者的行動
2. 警方停止強迫性工作者提供資料及簽名
3. 警方停止濫用法例、浪費大量警力和資源打擊性工作者。政府應善用資源，把資源投入發展改善香港民生，而非打擊一些自食其力的邊緣社群
4. 性工作非刑事化，消除有關性工作的法例，令性工作者活得更自在

New tattoo!

2007-07-07T22:18:00.000+09:00

난 새로운 타투 있어!

I have a new tattoo!

I love it, just down-left of my left breast, accentuating my breast! Yes vanity is my favourite sin.

제3회 여성노동문화제

2007-06-21T01:46:00.000+09:00

6월 21일(목)~23일(토)- 창원대학교 사림관

21일에는 15시에 언/고잉홈을 상영될꺼에요.

http://www.ww5050.org

SeLFF 2007

2007-06-07T20:14:00.000+09:00

http://www.selff.com, http://www.kqcf.org

At the Seoul LGBT Film Festival 2007 "Un/going home" is screened in the section "L Shorts". SeLFF takes place within context of the Korea Queer Culture Festival 2007, a festival which I unfortunatly will have to miss this year since I'm not in Korea... Anyways, the screening is Wednesday 6th (already past I know) and this Saturday 9th.

6월 6일(수)과 6월 9일(토)에는 서울LGBT필름페스티발에서 L-Shorts으로 언/고잉 홈을 상영되고 있어요.

Funny on their website with info about the films it says in the English section:

Hailing from Amsterdam, Hye-jin cannot be defined solely as an adoptee, transgender, lesbian, or sex worker. Jolly and less than adorable by turns, she has a ball at the KQCF and takes part in public discussions on amending laws on gender reassignment. During her short stay in Korea, has Hye-jin finally found home? Or must she once again set out in search of a home

Well it's funny to me, maybe others can't see the humor I see... I just wonder what they mean with "less than adorable..."?

Hijras of Mumbai - Photo exhibition

2007-05-29T19:22:00.000+09:00

http://www.transgenderfilmfestival.com

From 18th till 28th, May 2007, A photoseries by Anita Khemka (New Delhi, 1972) was shown at the Lloyd Hotel in Amsterdam in light of the 4th edition of the Netherlands Transgender Filmfestival. The photo's were taken during the shooting of the documentary Between the Lines: India's Third Gender featuring three the lives of three Hijras and Anita's interactions with them as a female photographer, which was screened at the festival as well. Not overly dramatic, neither casual, Both the film and the photos give provide an interesting look at the lives these Hijras. Meeting Anita and Laxmi (one of the Hijra featured in the film) was amazing. Both are very strong people, sharing and interesting friendship. I admire both of them for their creativity, their strength and courage.

Anita Khemka has worked as a documentary photographer for organisations like Unicef and UNAIDS with a focus on the position of women and sexual minorities in India. Khemka’s photographs are rooted in her experience as a woman, and her interest in how sex occupies a major part of people’s lives. Khemka is drawn to eunuchs and prostitutes whom she follows for years to film these intimate portraits.

Sex Work and Human Rights report - Asia and the Pacific

2007-05-29T18:13:00.001+09:00

http://www.apnsw.org

A report by the Asia-Pacific Network of Sex Workers (APNSW) from a meeting organised by the Sex Workers Health and Rights Project (SHARP) and the Open Society Institute in March 2007 in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

Little swing...

2007-05-22T23:13:00.000+09:00

Once upon a time in a land far far... More specifically June 2005 in South-Korea. I wrote this during my first trip their, for someone who's nickname just lingered on in my head. Maybe cause she was so kind to get me in a cab and pay for it when I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up. This poem is not her, it's only a tribute...

- Jun 4th, 2005 Seoul -

그네...

A swing on a playground
moves by wind and rain
it swings forth
but not back...

A girl once played
with a swing
on a playground
her footsteps are kept
frozen in the sand

A swing on a playground
pretending it swings
by the movement of a girl
that left long ago

That swing
on this playground
by wind and rain
it still swings
and plays
waiting for another girl

Empty Space...

2007-05-21T22:46:00.000+09:00

I decided to post some of my old poems on here, since my old webbie is down. Hope anyone who reads is finds it nice.

- May 9th, 2006 Amsterdam -

Empty, filling up
half full and empty
a space is filled up

Empty, it feels
this space, looking at me
with eyes from walls so white
and air as hands, touching
and feeling, as empty
as ever...

Filled up,
half empty, yet so full
this space as life
so indecisive
and so true

A Korean artist friend of mine, Sanghee, used this poem in one of her
projects: "evening primrose" [달맞이꽃 / 夜來香] she did in the red light district in
Amsterdam. She gathered poetry from sex workers all over the world and projected
it on the streets and in the old church in the middle of the district at
night.

4th Netherlands Transgender Film Festival

2007-05-15T23:13:00.000+09:00

www.transgenderfilmfestival.com

May 23 - 27, 2007. De Balie, Amsterdam

T-Image Foundation organises the 4th edition of the bi-annual Netherlands Transgender Film. This year's festival broadens its expected programming of cutting edge films to highlight other arts forms like photography, music, spoken word and live performance. Also this year there are two performances from veteran cultural agitators: the stand up comedy One Freak Show from Lynnee Breedlove that will open the festival and Kate Bornstein: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us from America's most wanted speaker on gender issues and theories Kate Bornstein will close the festival.

The programs range from the serious - such as a discussion of what needs to be done to secure civil rights for transgender people whether in prison or on the street in Get My Gender Right(s)! - to the timely - such as a consideration of how different generations of transpeople create images of themselves in Image Generation.

Parting...

2007-05-01T16:59:00.000+09:00

A car drove by

a train as well

they ran into each other

maybe

someday they'll part again

Railroad sorrow

and backseat pain

turned around, collapsed

into each other they cry

Car and train, sorrow and pain

tears of joy, and smiling...

they ran into each other

maybe

someday they'll part again

B-day

2007-04-27T17:44:00.000+09:00

Today I'm hitting 23.

Young to some, old to others. And I'm spending today without a party, but with a pussy. I guess I can't have everything.

어늘은 제 생일이에요. 지금 저는 만 스물세살이에요! 많이 선물을 주세요.

Un/going Home

2007-04-20T19:56:00.001+09:00

http://www.indieforum.co.kr/

directed by Young-Ran Kim [김영란]
- South Korea/2007/34 min/Color/DV -

영란이라는 제 친구가 Un/going Home라는 다큐멘터리를 연출했어요. Un/going Home은 2006년에 한국에 제 여행에 관한 이야기에요.
5월10일에 서울에 열리는, 인디포럼2007에서 개막작으로 상영될꺼에요.

Un/going Home is a short docu that Young-Ran, a friend of mine, made about my trip to South- Korea in 2006. It will be screened at Indieforum 2007 at the opening on May 10th.

I met Young-Ran in 2005 during my first visit to South-Korea. When she heard I was coming back again, she asked me if she could film it. At first I didn't see why I should say yes. But she was very persistent and persuaded me.

The filming itself was stressfull, I'm not at all used to having a camera directed at me all the time. Although I can enjoy attention, I turned very very self-conscious, especially with the eczema I was suffering from at that time. And I closed up more than usual, it wasn't easy talking in front of a camera about personal things and feelings. At times I told Young-Ran to stop filming because I couldn't handle it for a moment. But she was very patient with me, maybe more patient than I might have been were I in her position .

When I watched the end result for the first time I had to take breaks every 5 minutes or so. It's so strange to see yourself in a docu. My cheesy dancing and in times stupid comments combined with the signs of some severe drinking doesn't really help me getting over the embarrasment. I know, that's my own fault.

Anyways, to summarize: it's a 30 minute introduction on how I talk to much, can't sit still, complain a lot and act definitly not my own age. Of course for me it's different to see it than others. It's a nice memory of a nice, yet stressfull, trip. For my Korean friends... well I don't know what they will think.

I guess I am somewhat scared of reactions to it, some of the few people who saw it were positive, but I do tend to say controversial things (especially when I'm drunk) in a maybe a bit of a black and white way. Things that may be interpreted in a wrong way, since packing 5 weeks into 30 minutes does tend to put things a bit out of context occasionally. I had my problems in South-Korea in queer community because of my outspoken comments before and wouldn't be happy with causing a stir again. And this time I would be talking about sex work as well... But then again, my politics are my politics, even if they get in the way of my social life.

I guess the only thing I miss is some footage of a hike I took up bukhan mountain. I was telling Young-Ran constantly that I would go climb a mountain just to make her climb that mountain with me with the camera and feel sadistic, and she thought I was joking. At the end she didn't include the footage, despite her efforts to get good shots in the narrow path with her maybe to big for such a hike camera. Actually I wanted to go up DLI 63 Building, the largest skycraper in Seoul, by stairs to for the same reason but didn't have time in the end...

In any case I'm happy that Young-Ran created a very balanced and diverse picture of me. It shows me at my best and worst, and mostly inbetween. Most important she showed my voice, my politics and my opinions. Not hers about me as happens so often with documentaries.

My vagina

2007-04-19T23:23:00.000+09:00

My vagina... well it will look okay once it is healed, at least from what I see and hear from the doc.

For all of you that have been wondering how things have been the last seven days, here's the story:

Thursday, sleepy and bit stressed I thought it was more convenient to take the bus to the hospital than bike given that I wouldn't be biking home afterwards. Being a bit chaotic in packing my stuff (I managed to forgot pyamas, shampoo and toothpaste) I was already somewhat late, additionally I had no clue what so ever how long the trip was from my house to the hospital on public transport, since I usually bike. And of coruse I "forgot" that I didn't have a "strippenkaart" (the dutch variant of the public transport payment method), and not enough cash on me. Rushing to the ATM I found it none operational... Okay I was late... no worries since mostly I was bored out of my skull waiting in the hospital for several checks.

Friday, nervous and tired, since I didn't sleep at all despite the sleeping pills. I was scheduled for 8:30 AM I was told, so was fixed up (shower, shaving, pre-meds, the cute little blue weirdies they make you wear, ...) and rolled with bed and all to the roof. Yes the roof, okay that sounds really stupid but let me explain: The surgery rooms were due for renovation, so temporarily they flew in fully operational state of the art surgery-room-containers, no biggie, don't even notice that they're containers let alone they're on the roof. Nevertheless: I got surgery on the roof of the hospital. Anyways, back to the story, there was a mistake in the schedule apparently and I was taken back to my room and had to wait for another three hours. By that time I was so nervous that I cause an earthquake when I was rolled back into surgery shaking. Luckely the assistant-nurse person gave me something to calm down before she inserted the infuse or she would have missed the vane. Her words: "This stuff just feels like a good drink, you'll relax". That's where my memory ended that day...
Oh, for the record: yes I shaved myself.

Saturday, sunday, monday... they all can be shorted easily into pain-fever-dizzy-pain. On top of that I wasn't allowed out of bed at all, and wasn't allowed to eat... I survived on astronaut liquid chemical stuff, ulllhhhggggg!!! Anyways, basically I slept a lot, got lots of painkillers, had nurses and doctors check stuff between my legs (is a lot more boring than it sounds, sometimes painfull but not in a fun way).

Tuesday, I was allowed two biscuits!!! Jeeeeezzzz, never ever thought they would taste that damn good! they were dry, and bit old maybe, but they were the best two biscuits I ever had in my life!

Wednesday, they removed a lot of bandages, tubes, etc. and after some cleaning up it actually looked sort of like the end result, I mean I could imagine it would look like after the swelling would go away (which is a slow process so have to be patient, very very patient) I went out in the evening, to a friends house for a while.

That's where I am right now. Things are pretty okay, still pain but manageble, still exhausted easily but my friend does the house stuff. Surgery went well, took longer than expected, had some blood of someone else pumped into me, but all in all, it's all well.

Now all I need to think of a name ^^;

"Belle" honors sex workers all over the world

2007-04-02T23:10:00.000+09:00

There is a new girl in the Red Light District in Amsterdam. Her name is "Belle", and she stands proudly and strong in a window. She, however, is not a real sex worker, it is a statue there to honor sex workers. The statue was an initiative of Mariska Majoor, founder of the Prostitution Information Centre in Amsterdam and herself a long standing activist for sex workers' rights. "Belle" is there to remind the world that all sex workers, men, women, transgender or not alike, have a right to respect, dignity, livelyhood and agency.

The statue was unveiled 31st of March, during the open day held in the Red Light District where she now stands. During the open day 20 businesses, ranging from brothels and sex theaters to flowershops and churches, opened their doors for the public. It was a unique chance to take a look behind the scenes. Visitors could take a look inside the windows and were given explainations about how the women work, they could take a free coffee in one of the caffees, they got a free 5 minute show (with clothes) in the Cassa Rossa, the biggest live sex theater in Amsterdam.

Of Course the main event that day was the presentation of "Belle". At 5 pm, Mariska and several other sex workers ceremonially unveiled her in front of a croud of several hundreds. She was received with much applause, the sense of the day was a positive one. While not forgetting that still there is a lot to be done in the Netherlands to improve the working conditions and specially the regulations, the Netherlands is one of those places where working at least is legal. "Belle" now stands among the real women in the windows in one of the most famous Red Light Districts in the world, to tell everyone that we deserve respect!

My future vagina...

2007-03-27T00:06:00.000+09:00

My future vagina...

Well, it'll be soon. 13th of April, Dr. Niessen at the VU Medical Centre in Amsterdam will give me my (early) B-day present: vaginoplasty, a vagina, a cunt, a pussy, 보지, un colis, 보지... Oh yeah!

Anyways, let me just give some context to my future snatch.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, that wanted a vagina. 5 years ago she enrolled at a gender clinic to get it, 5 fucking years... indeed that's how long this gal had to wait. Worthwhile? maybe, but sooner 'ld been better.

This girl didn't think having an oversized clitoris and no vaginal opening disqualified her as a genuine female specimen, a fine female specimen she has always been, a pussy wouldn't make her even more genuine, or better, or perfect. No pussy would let her play nice, let her be penetrated by fingers, tongue, by vibrators, by dildo's, strapped-on or held by bitches who'd know how to get it right. A pussy would let her be naked, on beaches, in bathhouses, in many other places for sure, without feeling ... somewhat shy. Realising fully that her shyness wouldn't necessarily disappear when having a cunt, it would at least make her feel more comfortable with herself.

A funny note:
When I went for the first consultation some weeks ago, this Dr. Niessen asked me: Are you going to have sex with it? ... Silence ... While in my head a little voice sarcastically remarked: No, I'm gonna use it as a storage compartement for my mobile phone, you dork!
Well, I didn't say that out loud of course, since I do want to be on friendly footing with him. I'm sure he's mature and won't do a louze job out of sheer spite for my bitchy attitude, but still...

Disconnecty...

2007-03-16T21:30:00.000+09:00

http://www.last.fm/music/Grandaddy/_/Disconnecty

The first time I heard this song was because a friend, 영란, used it in one of her films. The film was sort of about me. Anyways it just lingered, especially the lyrics, and it keeps lingering because I'm shamelessly playing it over and over and over and over (god thank for the repeat function on my mp3 player.)

Dearest Mom
Your yearling son
Has sent a message through
He's disconected, but he still loves you

Weather lies and motor rules
The color printer blues
On the engine air his thoughts flow through to you

Disconnecty said to disconnect
But has he read the tiny text
That said to disconnect
He'd best decide
The rest of all your life
Will be your right to fly alone
Forever more

Dearest Mom
Your yearling son
Has sent a message through
He's disconected, but he still loves you

Disconnecty said to disconnect
But has he read the tiny text
That said to disconnect
He'd best decide
The rest of all your life
Will be your right to fly alone
Forever more

And ever more

Album: Just like the fambly cat
Artist: Grandaddy
Year: 2006

"one-whore" from APNSW's Star Whores show

2007-03-16T18:47:00.001+09:00

So, for all those into Karaoke, here is a political song. It's fun and amazing, and true to the bone.

Sing along to the song "one-whore" from APNSW's Star Whores show.

A song about why sex workers don't need to be rescued!

This is the Karaoke slide-vid and in 5 weeks we have a karaoke music vid up featuring different performers doing the song from across Asia and Pasific.

For women's rights in Europe and across the globe...

2007-02-20T18:54:00.000+09:00

What are European Values?
2007 marks the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Rome, the 50th anniversary of the European Union. In light of that the German presidency will organize a meeting in March. All Heads of State and Government of EU member States will assemble and adopt a "Berlin Declaration" about European Values.

Personally I don't believe in "European Values". I don't believe in a "European culture" or "identity". Europe is a group of states that are so culturally different that grouping the values within these cultures together as "one" is simply impossible, it would be ever contradicting. Nevertheless an active lobby of religious leaders wishes to ensure a prominent mentioning of specifically "Christian Values" as an overarching European value.

The rights of social and sexual minorities are often restricted or discarded in name of religion and culture. – Newsflash - the crusades are not something in the past, they’re happening today and they’re as violent and damaging as in the past. Under the banner of morals and values oppression continues. Where in the past there was the inquisition, today there is more subtlety in what religious conservatives propaganda calls for. But an oppressive legislation can be as damaging as an inquisition.

If “Christian Values” are accepted as a so called European Value, what about access safe abortions? The rights of same-sex couples? Access to comprehensive sexual education? What about the right to choose your own religion, and your own religious values…?

I do not oppose Christianity, only the conservatism and its consequences. The Vision for Europe project is a joint venture between the International Humanist and Ethical Union, the European Humanist Federation and Catholics for a Free Choice (CFFC). They have come to develop a one-page summary of their common values: the Brussels Declaration. A document that states the liberal values of individual freedom, democracy and the rule of law on which modern European civilisation is based. Values don’t need to be oppressive, they just can be.

But most of all, I would like to see is an assembly of all Heads of State and Government of EU member States that adopts a declaration about "European Rights" instead of "Values". Europe does not need a moral guideline, it doesn't need a declaration trying to tell what's "right" and what's "wrong". What Europe really needs is a strong statement that this Union will forever commit itself to promoting rights, in every sense of that word.

Under their MyBody brand, the World Population Foundation has initiated a petition for the rights of women in Europe. It is meant to draw attention of Heads of State and Government, gathered in Berlin on the 25th of March, to women’s rights and the importance of the neutrality of the State. Sign it!

Will you be my Valentine...

2007-02-08T23:26:00.000+09:00

The 7th day from now is Valentine's Day, the holiday of love.

And also the holiday of Hallmark, cheesy advertising and broken hearts... Truly what Saint Valentine originially intended to happen in his name on his day, I'm sure. But what would love be worth anyways if it couldn't be exploited for marketing? In this world not much, right? In any case at least Saint Valentine, if he ever existed, can rest in peace since the Catholic church stripped him of his day back in 1969 and the 14th of february is now officially dedicated to dedicated only to Saint Cyril and Saint Methodius.

Marketing efforts in Japan and Korea have shown even more brilliance. Not only do they capitalise on love for Valentine's Day, they further argue that March 14th should be similary garantee extra profit and there for is presented as "White Day". Whereas concentrated marketing has given rise to the custom of women having to give gifts to men for Valentine, of course men should return the favor and boost sales of cards, chocolate, lingerie, etc. for a second day. After that Koreans thought it be nice to honour those who are single and were left out for two succesive days and on "Black Day", April 14th, those who didn't receive anything for Valentine's or White Day gather to eat Jajangmyeon, noodles in black sauce. Maybe singles are still feeling left out because obviously their Black Day only gives extra profit to Chinese food delivery and thus they cannot share in the feeling of being exploited by capitalism.

Of course, mostly it is those queers that don't fit into the mainstream and heterosexist advertising and marketing for what is commonly mistaken as "love" that are left out. While I feel that queer visibility is important, the more capitalistic and disgustingly cheesy Valentine becomes, the less I mourn about being queer and not seeing my kind of "love" reflexed in this day. In all honestly I have something against Valentine, something that probably started due to the fact that I never seem to get Valentine cards or presents.

Faceless Things

2007-01-29T18:29:00.000+09:00

얼굴 없는 것들 Faceless Things

directed by Kyung-Mook Kim [김경묵]
- South Korea/2005/65 min/Color/DV Cam -

I saw the film at the 36st edition International Filmfestival Rotterdam (IFFR 2007). Before seeing it I already read the descriptions in the program of the filmfestival, and those didn't leave and other conclusion that it would be an eye-opener and shocking. Though after watching it I wished that they hadn't written so openly about it, knowing to much detail about it beforehand takes away from the experience of watching it. And it is an interesting experience to watch it.

It comprises only three shots. The first is fiction, although based on fact: man meets a young rent-boy for sexa middle-aged family in a motel room. The manner it is filmed in gives a voyeuristic feel to it, which makes it look very realistic. The second is documentary: two young men meet in an anonymous room for a sexual experiment. In the middle of the shot an overlay animation interrupts the documenting with a poetic reference to the first shot. And the third gives a turn to the story, it moves the perspective from firstly voyeuristic/hidden camera and secondly documentary to a strikingly personal conclusion. All three sections, while at first sight seemingly unrelated, have visual and poetic links to each other.

Faceless Things is an experiment, and not one for the faint-hearted. It is a controversial and shocking, visually aggressive at times. The director himself says it is a disgusting film, but it's disgusting in a poetic way.